Yesterday I got a text from a cousin saying our uncle who was diagnosed with stage 4 of lung cancer last July passed away.  I was sad; our last visit was during my father’s birthday last month, August 17.  We visited him at least 3x times during the last two months.  I don’t really like looking at him because he was really so thin and I wanted to preserve his appearance from my memory with a good health.  Same thing that I noticed my father is doing.  He already lost his older brother to lung cancer a few years back and now his younger brother to the same disease.  Every time we would visit, he would just say I am here and how are you, and then he would go outside.  I asked him why he is not talking to his bedridden brother, and he said simply “Somebody else is talking to him.  I already said hello and how are you.  I can’t bear to see him like that.”  I did not ask further, I don’t want him to be emotional, but then again he just sat there quiet. 

As I read the text about my uncle passing away, I thought about my father immediately.  How did he take the news?  Good thing my mother is at home and my 2 year old nephew is there.  There is something else that would take his mind of it.  I learned later that he asked my aunt, the younger sister to go over my uncle’s house and see to it.  My parents just went there near dark and went home around 2am this morning.  But when I was preparing for work, my father is usually quiet and did not say much. I respect that. I just wish I know what to say, but then my mother is the best at saying the right things on such situations.

As I am on my way to work, I’m thinking about how would I take it should my parents go.  But then again, readily dismissed the idea, I’m not yet ready.  And then I just close my eyes and sleep in the shuttle.